The Secret Sauce of Happiness
It's not money, achievements or even purpose.
Ok, so I’m sure we all knew it wasn’t money or achievements, but, wait, not even purpose? Sure, it is important to get out of bed each morning feeling like you are contributing, that there is value to your life, and there is a why behind you showing up. Think about what your day looks like. What moves you from moment to moment (and yes, I’m even talking to those introverts out there)? Is it really the love of what you literally do? Are you holed up in an office, not talking to anyone, day after day? I doubt it. When you look at the underlying thread of your day, the one that sews each moment-to-moment together, what is there? Relationships.
Casual relationships. Intimate relationships. Work relationships. All of them.
According to an 80-year-long Harvard study on happiness, the key to a happy life is the quality of our close relationships. But what if we pulled back from this and gave more value to the everyday moments - the appointments with clients, the laugh over a coffee with a friend, a networking opportunity, even an interaction with a cashier you don’t even know? What if we started noticing how we are showing up in all of our relationships and making a conscious effort to make them worthy of remembering? What would that look like?
I can tell you, it doesn’t look distracted (being on our phones). It looks present.
So I am going to argue that Presence brings happiness because it is in that moment, the moment when we are in our bodies, hearts, and heads, the moment where we can respond instead of react, this gives us pearls of happy-to-happy moments strung throughout our day. Yes, our close relationships are important. But so are all of the other ones.
Today, as you go through your day, notice your relationships. Yes, even the ones that drive you crazy. How are you showing up to these? What if your happiness depended on each and every one of these moments? It does. Because that is all we have. Moment to moment. Present to Present.
This Fall, I am offering Pattern to Presence workshops for women, men, and couples to significantly improve all of our relationships. Yes, all of them - from challenging to intimate. Starting with a women’s group next week.
🌿 Women’s Group: Register here
A circle of women gathering to reflect, support, and grow for six weeks (begins 9/29, $275, limited to six participants - only two spots remain)
Weekly group guidance
AI-assisted self-reflection
A safe space to be seen and heard
🌍 Men’s Group: Register here
A supportive space for men to explore presence, voice, and connection for six weeks (begins 11/5, $275, limited to six participants)
Weekly group guidance
AI-assisted practices for insight and growth
A judgment-free environment to share and learn
💞 Couples’ Group: Register here
A shared journey for partners who want to grow together for six weeks (begins 11/6, $550, limited to three couples)
Weekly group guidance designed for two
AI-assisted reflections on relationship patterns
A safe container to listen, be heard, and connect more deeply
!