What your Netflix binge is really showing you
How our obsessions reflect our patterns
I’m obsessed. I can’t stop watching Heated Rivalry (fyi, this is not on Netflix). This is funny to me because I haven’t been into (obsessed) with anything for a very long time. Early high school to be exact. Scott Baio to be even more exact. Oh, and maybe John Travolta. But those were girlie crushes.
If you don’t know what I’m talking about, Heated Rivalry is a love story about two hockey players who start out as rivals and end up falling in love, juggling family dynamics and the demands of professional hockey, from the responsibility of winning the season to sponsors and the Olympics. And of course, being gay in a very masculine sport. I will warn you, the show is NOT for everyone. You’ve got to be ok with seeing two men do A LOT more than kiss. (I warned you). That being said, the story is great.
I queried myself about this obsession.
Why do I like these characters so much?
I came to the conclusion that the Shane character is me - takes things way too seriously (boring), quiet and introverted, always thinking and planning, and has a need to know. Ilya is my husband - dynamic, intense, a wise ass, witty, a tough upbringing, and a teddy bear deep down inside (which is so sexy!). I tame him (Shane tames Ilya) and he, well, he doesn’t tame me! We complement each other.
It got me thinking about my other character obsessions.
Scooby Doo (fully related to Velma). Willy Wonka (curious, quiet, thinks the world is crazy), Nancy Drew (one of my favorite sleuths). Shaun Cassidy as a Hardy Boy (an Investigator AND cute!).
As an adult, I’m always looking for the light-hearted mystery - nothing too dark, scary, or violent. I just like to figure things out.
These stories that pull us in show us something about ourselves we may not be aware of. These relatable characters are relatable because we feel like we know them, that they are representing something in ourselves, or even better, represent something we are striving to become - maybe our most authentic self. When we watch these characters, it’s as if we are being seen. That feels good.
These character interests (obsessions) aren’t random. They are telling you something.
Play along with me and take a look below - see who you relate to.
The Intense Protector
You’re drawn to the strong one. The one who doesn’t flinch. The one who protects their people at all costs.
Characters:
Beth Dutton – Yellowstone
Tommy Shelby – Peaky Blinders
Olivia Benson – Law & Order: SVU
Damon Salvatore – The Vampire Diaries
What it might reflect:
You resonate with strength and directness. Or you wish you could access more of it without apologizing.
The Steady Peacemaker
You love the calm presence in the chaos. The one who keeps everyone together.
Characters:
Ted Lasso – Ted Lasso
Samwise Gamgee – The Lord of the Rings
Pam Beesly – The Office
Steve Trevor – Wonder Woman
What it might reflect:
You value harmony and loyalty. Or you long for steadiness in a world that feels loud.
The Principled Reformer
You’re pulled toward the one who knows what’s right and isn’t afraid to stand for it.
Characters:
Hermione Granger – Harry Potter
Captain America – Marvel Universe
Leslie Knope – Parks and Recreation
Jean-Luc Picard – Star Trek: The Next Generation
What it might reflect:
You admire integrity and moral clarity. Or you feel the pressure of always trying to get it right.
The Devoted Helper
You love the warm one. The emotionally intuitive one. The caretaker.
Characters:
Rebecca Pearson – This Is Us
Molly Weasley – Harry Potter
Deanna Troi – Star Trek: The Next Generation
Midge Maisel – The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
What it might reflect:
You see yourself in their generosity. Or you long to feel needed and connected in that way.
The Driven Achiever
You’re pulled toward the polished one. The ambitious one. The one who wins.
Characters:
Blair Waldorf – Gossip Girl
Olivia Pope – Scandal
Harvey Specter – Suits
Miranda Priestly – The Devil Wears Prada
What it might reflect:
You admire success and competence. Or you recognize the pressure to perform.
The Romantic Individualist
You love the layered, emotional, slightly misunderstood one.
Characters:
Marianne – Normal People
Rue – Euphoria
Jack Dawson – Titanic
Luna Lovegood – Harry Potter
What it might reflect:
You resonate with depth and longing. Or you crave more emotional authenticity in your own life.
The Investigator
You’re obsessed with the thinker. The quiet genius. The observer.
Characters:
Sherlock Holmes – Sherlock
Velma – Scooby-Doo
Spock – Star Trek
Bruce Banner – The Avengers
What it might reflect:
You value understanding before action. Or you relate to needing space and knowledge to feel safe.
The Loyal Guardian
You love the one who questions everything but protects fiercely.
Characters:
Ron Weasley – Harry Potter
Jim Hopper – Stranger Things
Dwight Schrute – The Office
Princess Leia – Star Wars
What it might reflect:
You feel the push and pull between doubt and devotion. Loyalty matters deeply to you.
The Enthusiastic Adventurer
You love the witty, fast-moving, possibility-seeing one.
Characters:
Lorelai Gilmore – Gilmore Girls
Ferris Bueller – Ferris Bueller’s Day Off
Starlord – Guardians of the Galaxy
Elle Woods – Legally Blonde
What it might reflect:
You crave freedom and options. Or you admire their ability to keep life light and moving.
Where did you land? Wasn’t it fun to give some thought to how you relate to these characters?
The next time you turn on the TV and get into a series, you might just ask yourself, “Why?” It feels good to be seen, and just maybe that series is showing you, YOU.
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